THE UNREAL POLICE – Scene 6
Heroine is waiting for Unreal Police in a restaurant. Unreal Police arrives in mufti. Heroine does not notice his missing arm because Unreal Police is wearing a full sleeved shirt.
‘I have brought you a gift!’ cries Heroine. And she brings out a box and offers it to Unreal Police.
‘You open it.’
So she opens the box and inside it is a beautiful diamond watch.
‘Here give me your hand!’
Unreal Police extends his right hand.
‘No the other hand!’
‘I will wear it on this hand or I shall not wear it at all!’, says Unreal Police
The Heroine gets angry and starts crying.
‘All you men are the same. Arrogant bastards! You don’t want to wear the watch that I am giving! I don’t want to see you anymore. Get the heck out of my life!’
Unreal Police becomes sad but he does not speak a word about his severed hand. He assumes an expression of sacrificial pain and starts walking away.
One extra sitting on the next table holds up a newspaper dramatically and points at Unreal Police with exaggerated gestures shaking his whole body. The Heroine runs to the table and grabs the newspaper.
There, in bold headlines appear the words:
THE ARM OF LAW IS SEVERED. DOG EATS THE HAND!
There are photos of Unreal Police standing on the beach without his left hand and a dog walking jauntily with a left hand in its mouth.
Heroine runs to Unreal Police and tears off the left sleeve of his shirt. A stub of arm stares back at her grotesquely. She then desperately searches the left sleeve but there is no arm in it. She looks at Unreal Police with glycerin in her eyes.
‘So it is true? I saw the news in the paper this morning but I thought that I was seeing your face every photo because I am in love with you. In fact I saw your face even in the dog’s photo.’
Unreal Police puts a pained expression.
‘But it is true! You severed your left arm!’, cries the Heroine. Then she takes Unreal Police’s right arm and straps the watch on the wrist. They both walk back to the table and order Chinese noodles.
The noodles arrive and the Unreal Police is struggling to eat with his right hand. Heroine puts more glycerin into her eyes and takes the chopsticks from Unreal Police’s right hand. She starts feeding him the noodles. All the people at the restaurant are unable to bear the sentiment. So they start crying and feeding each other. Unreal Police is crying too but he is crying as a Hero would, with a certain courage and masculinity.
One waiter appears. He looks at the couple.
‘Heroine, why are you feeding Unreal Police?’, he asks.
Heroine glares at the waiter.
‘Can’t you see he has an arm missing?’, she snaps back.
‘But it is not the right hand that is missing! Unreal Police would have no problem with eating. It’s the other work which the left hand will do that Unreal Police cannot now perform himself!’
Heroine stares wide eyed. Unreal Police tries to hide his pain in vain. Heroine turns to Unreal Police with extra glycerin. Her eyes are practically red.
‘Is it true? You now cannot do what you used to with your left hand?’
Unreal Police nods his head and says, ‘Please do not trouble yourself. I have arranged for it.’
‘But nobody can do it for you with love and affection, can they?’
Unreal Police remains silent.
Everybody in the restaurant start crying loudly. They were all deeply touched.
The Unreal Police and the Heroine once again disrupt traffic in foreign roads and are nearly killed by a speeding truck. This time Unreal Police dances with one hand so that the audience could whistle, cheer and go into general fits.
End of scene 6