THE UNREAL POLICE – Scene 5
Unreal Police goes to the Santhome Beach on the appointed day and time. He sees the twins already there. So he performs his sentimental kneel and the angry gesture.
‘Prepare to die, you villainous twins!’, cries Unreal Police with angry bloodshot eyes.
‘Wait!’ cry the twins together, ‘You have not kept your promise!’
Unreal Police gets angrier. The blood from the eyes flows to his cheeks and they turn red.
‘What is your motto?’, cry the twins, one in accented Telugu and the other in perfect Tamil.
‘I am the War; I am the peace. I am the ocean; I am the tide. I am the beach; I am the pebble. I am – ‘
‘Please cut the crap and tell me your motto!’ cry the twins in desperation.
‘Ok. I am the Unreal Police! I can do the impossible in one and a half minute! Any place, anytime, single hand!’
‘You came to the said place at the said time. But you came with two hands.’ shout the twins.
Unreal Police is shocked. He dramatically looks down at his hands as if he is seeing them for the first time. Finally he comes to a decision. He takes a sword from his pocket and severs his left hand.
A hungry dog that was lying nearby comes running in delight and makes off with the severed hand.
Unreal Police then looks up at the twins and aims his gun. The twins immediately apologize and tell him to meet them at Charminar in Hyderabad next Tuesday.
‘I am the sacrifice; I am the universe. I am the police cap; I am the brain underneath it. I am the gun powder; I am the elephant herder. I am Unreal Police! I can do the impossible in one and a half minute! Anytime, anyplace, literally single handed!’
Saying thus Unreal Police folds his lungi and … alas he could not raise his left hand! He has no left hand. So he lifts his right hand instead and folds his left knee. And off he flies.
The twins party that night. And a vamp sings and dances for the front benchers.
End of scene 5