THE UNREAL POLICE – Scene 4
Unreal Police arrives early at Chennai. So he decides to while away time by finding some Heroine and wooing her. He goes and joins a college.
But the Heroine has not made her entry yet, so he whiles away time by ragging geeks and female teachers. Finally one day the Heroine makes her entry.
All the non-flowering trees on the path to the college suddenly start flowering and showering the flowers on the path. The Heroine walks down the path in slow motion. She is a whitewashed woman with squint eyes, simpering lips and severely underdressed body.
Unreal Police gapes at her thunderstruck. The Heroine is oblivious of him. She passes by him talking to her friends and occasional moving her head in a slow motion wave so that her hair would fly out like in some hair shampoo ad.
Unreal Police starts singing a song and wooing her. He slaps her seat, pinches her legs, prods her waist and digs her nose with all the sensitivity of an angry dinosaur. He pulls her hair out and pockets a few locks as a memory. All the students and teachers dance around him singing chorus to his lyrics.
He eve teases her in a way no real police would do but what the heck, he is no real police. He is the UNREAL POLICE. He can do the impossible in one and a half minute.
At the end of the song, the heroine slaps Unreal Police and walks away. Before Unreal Police could follow her there is a commotion in the college. About a dozen girls come running in ragged clothes and accuse a senior student of harassing them all.
Unreal Police starts bashing the senior student. The student starts threatening.
‘Do you know who I am? My father is a minister. And his father is the Prime Minister!’, threatens the senior student.
Unreal Police takes out his mobile phone and throws it at the senior student.
‘Call your dad! Call your granddad! Call you great grand dad! Call your entire clan including the monkeys you evolved from! I don’t care! I will beat you all up. Ha! I am the super senior among students; I am the University for Colleges; I am the provisional certificate; I am the graduation certificate. I am the Unreal Police! I do the impossible in one and a half minute. Anytime, anyplace, single hand! Ha!’
And he starts bashing the senior student again. Suddenly there are sounds of sirens and official cars arrive. The corrupt minister dad and the national corruption head, the granddad, Prime Minister arrive.
Unreal Police shoots both of them pointblank and makes the college principal the next Prime Minister. He marries all the dozen girls to the senior. The dozen girls fall on his feet and wash them with their tears of gratitude. The senior turns over a new leaf and promises to marry all the girls he would harass in future. The Heroine who is watching all this falls in love with Unreal Police and kisses him in public.
Unreal Police immediately folds his lungi and flies off with the Heroine to the streets of USA, UK, Switzerland, Srilanka, Mauritius and Germany. There he stops all the traffic and starts dancing like insane occasionally manhandling the heroine whose clothes desperately try to hold on to her.
End of scene 4